Did anyone else stop breathing at the end of this episode?
In the end, Fitz decides to run for a second term after all, saying his marriage is “none of your business.” Simultaneously, the gladiators discover the Cytron card has been stolen; David blames the missing card on Charlie, and Huck and Quinn have to admit that they just let Charlie go, but he has a name – he knows who the mole is, and the mole is BILLY CHAMBERS. Season one, Amanda Tanner killing, VP chief of staff Billy Chambers!
But get ready for the one-two punch: The person who slides into the car and hands Billy the Cytron card is…David Rosen.
DAVID HAS BEEN PLAYING POPE AND ASSOCIATES (and me) ALL SEASON. And of course, of COURSE he would be in on it with the mole – they ruined his career in a shockingly disgraceful manner, and made him out to be a fool. Abby broke his heart. Olivia broke his spirit. And now, as retaliation, David is going to take them out at the knees.
Major Boner Shrinker, First Battalion: Cyrus screaming, “Get up!” at Olivia and Fitz after he barges in on them in her apartment. Fitz was still able to work up a post-coital glow in the elevator, though, as Cyrus went into a mouth-foaming fit.
Best Fake Band Name: James Novak and the Lip-Quivering Sadness (emo)
Shiva the Destroyer Charm School: Cyrus tries to explain to the secret service that he is meaner than Jesus. He really will do anything to get to Fitz. “I don’t care if you got your orders from Jesus Christ himself as he hung on the cross. Jesus is not me! Jesus forgives, Jesus saves – I destroy.” Based on his callous remarks to James later in the episode and overall attitude, this is becoming easier to believe.
Break It All the Way Down:
“I know Olivia Pope usually handles your needs.”
“Olivia Pope handles my husband’s needs.”
New Hairdresser: “I’m your priest, your shrink, your hairdresser. Can you be honest? I’m the first lady – I didn’t get here because someone like you held my hand and called himself my hairdresser. My hair? Is DONE.”
Best Bowling Team Name: The Mean, Slutty Husbands
Taking Sally to (Sunday) School: When VP Sally Langston attributed the axiom “hell hath no fury like a woman scorned” to the Bible, Cyrus exasperatingly corrected her. “That’s not from the Bible. Not everything is from the Bible, Sally.”
Harrison Sinking a Three-Pointer from the Top of the Key: He offered to help her out of the potential mess that comes with being named as the president’s mistress, but she reacted coolly, prompting Harrison to point out the obvious: “Your not the fixer here, Liv - you’re the problem.”
If You See Something, Say Something: Beware the roaming molester with radioactive tracking goo on his hands.
Best Happy Place: “Watching Cyrus Beene unraveling under pressure is my porn.”
Most Unnatural Laughter: Cyrus, with his face-crumpling guffaws.
You Leave James Alone!: He is not “doughy”!
The Real Diaper Genie: Those gray, low crotch, zipperless pants Olivia was wearing did not do her any favors.
The “You Needed to Hear It Straight” Award: Captain Jack for telling Mellie, “I’m very good at what I do. I can move mountains and make miracles. But I can’t make your husband love you.”
Dead Giveaway: Slicked back is the signature evil hairdo.
David Rosen and Billy Chambers, double agent and the Albatross. I CANNOT. What can possibly happen next week? Did VP Langston know Billy was alive? And why did B613 let Huck live? See you then.